Anyone who knows me, knows this: I’m a sucker for anything that has to do with bears, such a sucker that later in the month I’ll be getting a panda bear tattoo and no it won’t be a lame punx-roxor one I’m too cool for that. So what does this have to do with Michael Zapruder’s – Dragon Chinese Cocktail Horoscope? Well it has some awesome cover art that I want to get a print of and hang on my wall. But sadly, that’s about the only thing that’s awesome about this album.
There’s nothing to grab on to, no hooks just flat, dry almost brittle and beaten pop music with the occasional synth noise in the background that I pick up on looking for something, anything! For how can an album with such great cover art be so bad! I don’t really know but there is one bright spot on the album, just one though, White Raven Sails.
I feel like I’ve heard it before somewhere but I don’t know where, oh that’s right! It sounds just like the big shot himself, Mr. Billy Joel ladies and gentlemen. In a perfect world Michael Zapruder would actually be Billy Joel’s alter-ego kind of like what Garth Brooks did with Chris Gaines, but alas this isn’t a perfect world nor is this a perfect album. So if you’re into slow, dry, boring things pick it up comes out in little over a month and get yourself some unfrosted mini-wheats and a gun see what happens let me know.
Key Tracks: White Raven Sails
I give it a 2/10
Michael Zapruder – Dragon Chinese Cocktail Horoscope (Release date Nov. 18, 2008)
Kristopher D. Shepard (firstname.lastname@example.org)