Understanding the fashion industry is like trying to study a moving bullet. By the time you’ve caught up with one trend, another has fired from the barrel in time for the new season.
And unless you’ve got a Grazia subscription wired telepathically to your brain, keeping your clothing in check ain’t easy.
Yet there’s a wellspring of older clothing lines and beauty tips at your disposal, and they’ll work all year round.
And we’ve come up with just a few.
Firm up your neck
After hearing Meghan Trainor’s warbling, this year has beedn all about that bass for some. But for many others, your derriere is the least of your worries. When all that chub has formed under your chin, it’s time to act fast.
While a double chin can be combatted with exercise and a moderate diet, that’s hardly going to help you in the here and now.
What will give you a boost is sub-d, a formula designed specifically to tighten your chin muscles and make that fat vanish.
A simple glance in your local branch of Boots will show you numerous products with the quality of snake oil. They’ll promise MIRACULOUS CURES, STUPENDOUS EFFECTS and UNBELIEVABLE SOLUTIONS.
But a drop of Sub-D can give you long-lasting effects and make your face look fashionable once again.
Kick it old school
Fashions come and go – but there are a few glamour icons that never seem to fade.
Like mosquitoes encased in amber, the likes of Marilyn Monroe, Audrey Hepburn or Elizabeth Taylor have perfected an understated beauty – and you could take a leaf or two out of their book.
Use sleek blacks and whites to convey an impression of elegance. Combine this with the occasional burst of primary colours for variation.
Whether you’re at a debonair cocktail party or a dark and dingy nightclub, you’ll stand out as a shining example of good fashion.
Do it yourself
There’s a reason that the fashion world is filled with eccentrics – they’ve flocked to the industry in a passion, practical skills be damned!
Vivienne Westwood, Yves Saint Laurent, Karl Lagerfeld – while they’re brimming with genius, they all started with little more than a sketch pad and a bristling ambition.
You don’t have to match up to their prodigiousness, but you can give a DIY aesthetic a go for your wardrobe.
Start small – take some clothing from the high street and see how you can make a few alterations with a sewing machine. Your first attempts will be haphazard, but a little bit of practice can make a world of difference.
You’ll have a unique wardrobe and even a new hobby. Who knows what fashionista garb you might produce!