Posted on: June 13, 2019 Posted by: James McQuiston Comments: 0

A schema is a concept that helps people make sense of the world around them. Schemas can be considered mental shortcuts that help us process large amounts of information and simplify it quickly.

Our schemas are mental frameworks that shape our perception of the world, and when we happen to hold many negative schemas, our mental health, relationships and self-esteem suffer.

Schema therapy focuses on changing negative schemas to help people stop self-defeating thoughts and live more positive, healthy lives. Schema-focused therapy is commonly used to treat borderline-personality disorder. This condition involves frequent relationship problems, severe mood swings and chronic low self-esteem.

Borderline personality disorder requires a professional diagnosis from a clinical psychologist. Even if you do not have this disorder or any of its symptoms, you may find schema therapy useful. Here are seven reasons why you should consider schema therapy.

7. You Had a Troubled Childhood

The majority of our schemas are formed during childhood and adolescence. If you experienced physical, verbal or mental abuse, you most likely hold some negative schemas that impact your self-esteem and social relationships. You might be “a loner”, have a history of abusive relationships or even lash out and become abusive yourself.

Victims of childhood abuse are more likely to experience depression in adulthood. Negative thought patterns and schemas can cause an abused or neglected child to grow into a fearful, distrustful adult who struggles to get close to others and often feels attacked or insecure.

6. You Have Low Self-Esteem

If you frequently put yourself down, worry about what others think or even self-harm, then schema-focused therapy may be able to help you. Every person has a self-schema, that is, a concept of how we view ourselves. This schema is often shaped by our experiences, so people who have experienced a lot of conflict or unhealthy relationships may hold a negative view of themselves.

Low self-esteem may be a permanent fixture of your life; it’s possible that you might not even be able to recall a time you ever liked yourself or felt confident in your own skin. Schema therapy can help you start to deconstruct your negative self-image and rebuild it from the ground-up.

5. You Need Others’ Approval

If you always feel like you’re trying to appease others and make them happy, schema therapy may be able to help you understand why. Everyone needs to feel accepted and understood in life, but validation must come from within.

Approval-seeking behaviors are common among people who hold negative schemas; you may worry about someone not liking you if you don’t do what they want or believe that they’ll hate you if you say no to something. This type of belief usually stems from an unhealthy self-image that schema therapy can help adjust.

4. You’re a Perfectionist

You may be so fixated on meeting your high standards that your relationships and personal life suffer. Some people are so goal-oriented that they neglect themselves and others in their quest for achievement. Nothing you do ever really feels “good enough,” though, and you struggle to accept any praise because you know you could have done better if you would have tried harder.

Perfectionism can cause you to lose interest in things that once brought you joy; hobbies may become another source of stress, mostly due to your harsh inner critic. Schema-therapy can help you begin to understand why you judge yourself so harshly and learn to live without crippling high standards.

3. People Call You Selfish

A sense of entitlement can cause you to feel like you deserve or are owed something at all times. Chances are that you’ve been called “spoiled” or even selfish by other people. You may even agree with them. If you feel like you are never truly getting what you deserve or have suffered personal problems because of this, schema-focused therapy may help you gain some much-needed self-awareness.

Selfish people are not always bad people. Sometimes, they really just have a strong emotional “emptiness” inside of them that winds up causing them to demand everything. This does not mean that they want to hurt others or not be giving; they just don’t understand how to identify and express what they really need.

Schema therapy leads to greater self-awareness, which makes forming healthy relationships with open communication much easier.

2. You Have Low Self-Control

Impulsivity can make it difficult for people to achieve their goals and succeed in life. Everything from work to relationships can suffer; you may rush into relationships and get serious too fast, only to wind up with regret and heartache later. You might constantly make promises you don’t keep or take up hobbies only to drop them in a week or two.

Poor self-control can cause you to have emotional outbursts, leading to conflict and embarrassment. You may also find that you find it hard to quit things, which increases your risk of substance abuse, gambling and frequently overspending.

1. Your Own Thoughts Make You Miserable

If you have an inner voice that always tears you down or insults others, schema therapy could help. Most people’s inner voice is a mixture of things they’ve been told and what they’ve perceived; if you had parents who always celebrated academic achievements but never told you they loved you, for example, you may be the type who says you’re worthless unless you ace an exam or get a promotion at work.

Our thoughts influence everything; how we feel is directly tied to how we think, and our schemas alter whether we view the world as full of opportunity or nothing but despair and disappointment.

How to Do Schema Therapy

You can learn more about schema therapy online, but you will need to work with a licensed counselor or psychologist to actually perform it. Schema therapy requires thorough assessment and evaluation. Education and skill-building exercises are also a major component of treatment, so it’s important to find a good therapist who you feel comfortable opening up to.

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