Ann Beretta – Three Chord Revolution

Don Henley in a punk band would be probably the most adequate description that I could give to Ann Beretta. On “Three Chord Revolution”, their new revolution, they use the same type of tempo and strung-out California that Don perfected on eir’s seminal hit, “Boys of Summer”. Imagine if Mike Ness was doped up on Quaaludes, and you have an idea of what Rob’s vocals sound like. There is absolutely no energy in this punk revolution, and we are left with sappy love tracks like “Lipstick and Makeup”. If this album came out in 1992, we would be revering Three Chord Revolution as an impressive album to go along with “My Brother the Cow” and “Grave Dancers Union”. The sing-alongs on this disc, such as those that litter “Picture Perfect World”, are properly apathetic to match the mood of the song.

The disc isn’t all bad, and tracks like “Angry All The Time” would be a killer hit if it wasn’t sung by Rob. As such, even ey can’t take all the emotion and energy of the track – seriously, when I hear Ann Beretta, I hear punk rock elevator music. While the style of music would be best lumped in to the broad genre known as pop-punk, I am loathe to really affix that term to this album, as it would put to shame the collective accomplishments of the genre, whether it be the Ramones or old Blink 182 or even Pinhead Gunpowder. “Better Half” is an exercise in embarrassment, where Rob tries to go and sound like The Clash circa London Calling and accomplishes sounding like “Kokomo” era Beach boys.

A brief high point is found in “Lost in You”, where the multi-part harmonies are something thatare above-par. However, this entire album is really disappointing in the sense that everything is so pale and paint by the numbers, and that the Revolution is really just the same album, same sound, and same battered font that have been used on literally thousands of punk albums. There is nothing endearing about this album, and I really can’t come up with a reason that someone would want to listen to it. If a parent was trying to satiate their children that are clamoring for real punk, this might be the wishy-washy album that would do. Perhaps the dropping of this band by Lookout will be followed by the jettisoning of more garbage from the ailing behemoth that is the record label.

Rating : 2.9/10

Top Track : Fallout

Ann Beretta – Three Chord Revolution / 12 Tracks / 2003 Union 2112 Records / / / Released 21 October 2003 / Reviewed 21 January 2004

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