The Break-Up Bite – Relearning How to Be Single

After a long relationship like a marriage, being single again can be a daunting, terrible prospect. There are many things to fear about being single, but by that same note there are many things to enjoy about single life as well. Gone are the confines of an unhappy, committed relationship, with its complex dynamics, fighting, unhappiness and resentment.

Slowly, you can begin to welcome in the beginnings of something new, and something healthier, and something happier. We have put together a short article on relearning how to be single, because needing help with these issues doesn’t need to be a big deal.

Legal Proceedings

First up is the legal proceedings because, with any marriage dissolutions, there are correct legal procedures to follow. Find yourself a good divorce lawyer in Melbourne, and begin the divorce filings through them. There’s no reason to interact with your ex if you’ve parted on bad terms, but if you parted on good terms then communicating with them about your side of the divorce is a good idea.

Inform them of your lawyer’s name and contact details, gather their lawyer’s contact details, and try to maintain a healthy, open dialogue about the legal proceedings only. It’s important that you treat this professionally, because messy breakups take longer, cost more, and make both of you exceedingly unhappy. Getting through this uncomfortable time quickly and professionally is for the best, so put some real time and effort into communicating with your ex as clearly and respectfully as possible.

Spending Time

After you’ve moved away from each other, it’s going to feel like there’s a hole in your life. A person you spent a whole lot of time with every day is now gone, so suddenly you’ll feel like you have very little to do and nobody to spend time with.

This is not the case, because your friends are still your friends, and the place you live in is your own. So, invite some people around for a relaxed shindig and try to ease yourself back into socialising more. Marriages often replace a person’s social life over time, so meeting lots of new people and making more friends is a good step in the right direction to combat the initial loneliness you no doubt feel.

Seeing People

When it comes to dating, only you can know when you’re truly ready to get back out into the world, so try not to pay any attention to your friends’ advice unless they know you really well. Some people find that dating straight away works for them, some find that sleeping around works for them, and some find that waiting a long time is the right thing to do.

None of these answers are wrong, and none are necessarily right. Whatever feels right for you is your answer, though always keep in mind that dating people involves another person’s feelings too, so try to be mindful of your prospective partner’s feelings.

Creating Things

Creating things is a good way to pass the time, and it provides you with a healthy outlet for any negative emotions you might feel. Sculpting, singing, learning an instrument, painting, drawing or even dance classes are all ways to express yourself, and expressing your emotions healthily is the fastest way to feeling better again.

With these tips, you’re ready to take on the daunting task of being single again, but don’t worry about it too much. Once you get the hang of it, it’s a very rewarding state to be in, and you might find you’re better off out of the unhappy relationship you were in.

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Author: James McQuiston

Ph.D. in Political Science, Kent State University. I have been the editor at NeuFutur / since I was 15. Looking for new staff members all the time; email me if you are interested. Thanks!

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