With marriage falling out of favor today, many couples are skipping the stress of a long-term commitment and considering different relationships. Why are people today unhappy in their marriages? The top reasons, according to marriage experts, seem to be a lack of communication, poor sex life, and feelings of boredom.
Despite these trends, your marriage isn’t doomed. There are many ways to keep your relationship thriving through the years. While we shouldn’t sugar-coat marriage by saying it’s nothing but sunshine and roses, it’s unfair to say it’s all an uphill battle. There are a lot of wonderful things about being committed and in love with your partner. Here are 5 secrets for a happy marriage you can adopt today.
1. Put Yourself First
Too many adults, especially women, tend to put their partner first. While this seems like the best way to keep your family happy, you can’t give from an empty cup. Your self-care is one of the most important things you have. Don’t deplete everything you are for your family,partner, or anyone else for that matter.
Think of how much better you’ll be able to assist those in your life if you’re feeling your best? Help yourself first so you can help others. Don’t define yourself on your partner. You are an individual with your own unique feelings, interests, and passions. You don’t have to lose these things now that you’re married.
2. Keep Learning
If you aren’t willing to learn from your mistakes, you’ll never grow in your marriage. No marriage is perfect. There will be times when you’ll do the wrong thing. There will also be times when your partner will do the wrong thing. It’s okay to admit that you’ve made a mistake or to forgive your spouse when they’ve done the same. Take these moments for what they are: valuable lessons. If you’re both able to learn from your challenges, you’ll thrive in all aspects of your life.
3. Communicate Early and Often
As we mentioned earlier, communication is one of the hardest parts of any relationship. It’s easy to bottle up your feelings.Talking about things that bother you is hard, especially when they’re big things. You communicate every day when you talk about small things, but you also need to talk about big things.
Greg Smalley of Focus on the Family calls these “Administrative Meetings” because he thinks they should be conducted similarly to a business meeting. These are action items like how you’ll handle your schedule and keep your life operating on track. Speaking about small problems before they have the chance to simmer over is key. While that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take some time away from your partner to calm down or figure out how you feel, it does mean you don’t hold resentment over them for things you haven’t talked about.
4. Ignite the Bedroom
Nobody wants to end up in a sexless bedroom,yet dead bedrooms are on the rise. These don’t happen overnight. Over time, you might feel your libido change or you’ll feel less attractive yourself. All of these things are natural parts of growing older, but that doesn’t mean you have to take them as a death sentence on your sexuality.
If you feel your marriage is on its way to embracing a dead bedroom, take action now. You might visit your doctor if you’re struggling with your libido, or you might experiment with new things that bring excitement into your life. Welcoming sex toys like one of the best sellers from the Adult Shop is a great way to add new passion to your bed. You can also try classics like lingerie, scheduling sex, and just talking to your partner about what they want from their sex life. Once again, communication is key.
5. Marry the Right Person
Finally, the best way to keep your marriage healthy and happy is to marry the right person in the first place. Sometimes you’ve married the wrong person. Sometimes that person grows different and you want different things out of life. This is completely okay. Remember this: no happy marriage ever ended in divorce. If you’ve done everything you can to reclaim the happiness in your marriage and something still feels off, it might be time to move along.
You’re the one who’s in charge of your future,whether that future is with this partner or a different one. Before you marry your spouse, do your due diligence. This is something you’re going to build a life with. Do you match in the key areas like goals, passions, and values? If not, this might not be the right fit for you. It’s okay to realize this later in life. Just take this as another opportunity to learn about yourself.
Your marriage isn’t something that will survive on its own. Imagine it as a plant that needs constant trimming,watering, and care. As long as you’re not afraid to put in the work, you can cultivate a healthy, happy marriage that lasts forever.